Should we all be petrified of going home with people we barely know? I think it’s easy to become complacent in a university atmosphere, which is relatively safe compared to the real world, a fact that was brought home to me just the other day.
So, out one night in London, meet some random guy, get his number blah blah blah normal story. Few days later I get a text and then a call, asking me if I want to go out for some drinks. Sure, I think to myself, the guy was hot, why not give it a go? As I’m heading into Waterloo on the train, I see a Metro paper on the rack above my head, so I reach up, take it down, and what’s the first thing I see on the opening page?:
“First date killer jailed for life”
(internet version – http://www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=111235&in_page_id=34&in_a_source=)
Yikes! Pretty freaky thing to read on your way to a first date! So I put it out of my mind, thinking to myself that paranoia is not a healthy way to live. Get to the bar, chatting to the guy, ask him to tell me something random about him that he wouldn’t normally say on a first date:
“I have a criminal record for possessing a weapon.”
What kind of weapon and why did you have it?
“Bit of lead pipe. Me and my mates beat up some lads from another football team.”
At this point I’m thinking ‘Do I have enough time to make a dash for the door before he pulls out some other form of blunt instrument and bludgeons me?’ But I’m slightly intoxicated, and really can’t be bothered to catch a train home. So after still more drinks, I stumble home with him to some awful suburb, the kind of place you feel that someone is waiting around every corner to kill you, though at the same time you know you’re with someone who viciously attacked someone else with a weapon so how bad can it be? On top of this, the guy is living in a flat with several other football hooligans… After some awkward and painful sex, I can’t sleep for fear of, well, him, his housemates, the unknown people living in this area who are probably equally violent. In the cruel sober light of dawn, I was all too happy to make a quick escape back to my safe, comforting university life, away from my rather foolish rendez-vouz.
Which brings me, in a very roundabout manner, to the point. Dating is dangerous, and most of us are lucky we’re still alive.
I’m honestly not surprised you were terrified out of your wits! It’s funny how coincidences can seem to gang up to make you conscious of a particular fears.
As for me, my mum gets worried when I’m out and about in Windsor, so she’s already deeply ingrained in me a fear of going out anywhere at night!
the trick is not to date, But get really drunk in the safety of home to the sound of the DR. Damien Rice. Ahhhh good times.
Fuck, this was honest!
I’m dating too at the moment, and also guilty of first date *ahem* stuff…but I felt I could trust this person, and luckily, I wasn’t wrong. It was a perfect date.
You’re right though, and I know I deserve a slapped wrist for being so frivolous with my actions…
The world is far too scary a place not to be cynical.
Hope your next date goes better, my love!
Dating certainly is dangerous…
When I used to watch sex and the city, I took note of the fact that most of the men the four women date were either completely off their nuts weird, or extremely unpleasant (with a few exceptions.)
I always thought the scriptwriters over wrote the characters of the ‘dates’ for comic effect, but actually, now I look at it, its probabaly an accurate depiction.
There are alot of very STRANGE people out there. Who, like us normal people, are looking for someone.
I suppose you have to kiss alot of frogs before you get Prince Charming though right?
I met a random guy when I was buying vodka at a service station on my way to a party on new year’s eve and when he asked me out I thought, ‘he’s cute, why not?’ But there was a part of me that was a bit anxious when it came to meeting up and so I wussed and opted for an afternoon coffee/cinema date as opposed to bar/club!
It was cool in the end tho. I like the excitement of first dates (And, I know this sounds shallow, but it’s always such a nice feeling when you first see them and think ‘phew!’, ’specially if you’re prone to wine-goggles!) But I totally agree that it’s so important to feel safe nowadays. I know too many people who’ve had near date-rape situations not to go out with a strong dose of cynicism, as Anita said.
You’re totally right about uni life making students complacent about safety and stuff… it ain’t just the campus bubble, it’s the intensity of work – enough to drive anyone into taking risks! xx