… To be alone again.
Why is it that being alone is so hard? Once you’ve started dating – and I mean properly dating, not like ‘well I had sex with the same girl for a week’ kind of dating, but dating that actually involves an emotional connection between two people – it seems like you are doomed to forever need someone in your life. I’m not just talking about long-term relationship after long-term relationship; I’m talking about serial monogamy. If you fall into the relationship trap, it’s bloody hard to get out.
And it really shouldn’t be! People are so difficult and demanding. Trying to make yourself happy is hard enough but trying to do it for someone else as well is bloody tiring and a lot of work! Not only that, but even in the most casual relationships there are always things you have to give up, like time, effort, and time. Sure you get something out of it, but in the process you lose part of your individuality as a sacrifice to the other person. When you’re single, you’re not constrained to one person, you don’t have to share the bed (major bonus), and you only have to listen to your friends whine about their lives (which somehow is less annoying than when someone you’re dating does it).
Yet, once you’ve been with someone, once you’ve shared something more than just a fling, it’s hard to be alone. You can fill in the time with random sex for only so long before you realise that it’s hard to find this continuously satisfying. There are times when friends aren’t quite right for the occasion, where you need something else, something I can’t seem to define.
Whatever it is, it’s a bugger, and I am going to lodge a complaint to whatever omniscient power next pops into my mind.
You can’t live with it, you can’t live without it. A good summing up. I find it tricky myself to keep my independence in the midst of a relationship, but for me the fulfilment it gives me is worth it. I can see where you’re coming from though. Living alone was certainly easier, and I miss it sometimes, but I was nowhere near as happy as I am now.
I haven’t been single for 3 years. I don’t really remember what it’s like, and I miss it sometimes. The only thing I remember – being something of a tortured romantic – was waxing lyrical about how shit it was that everyone had someone but me.
Comes with the territory, and the whole ‘never happy’ syndrome we human beings are born with. Being rejected after a temp thing definitely made me more resistant. I guess two months of sticking needles into a voodoo doll took care of that (I mock, of course…). ”You’ll get over it one day,” is the last thing you want to hear when you think you’ve found love, but it’s a welcome kick up the arse. Nobody wants sympathy.
I’ve come so close to the brink of singledom recently, and something always holds me back. I try to live in the moment, because I’m not a believer in false promises, and I’m one of those human being people.
Yeah. Pros and cons either way. Plenty of time to get serious, though. Enjoy the ride (no pun intended).
xxx
until november/december (already can’t remember!) i’ve been in relationships pretty much since i was 15. 5 bloody years!
i can tell you what you were missing – cuddles